Today is life - the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.
Dale Carnegie
One of the most depressing things is when you walk into the library and the book you want is checked out. You can't have it until someone else is done with it. That, I suppose, is the cost of the library.
Today on my walk home from the library I was startled by the beautiful sunset. Since when have I been startled by a beautiful sunset?!?! I tend to be very observant of these beautiful things around me but today it startled me! The air was crisp but not too cold and the blue sky faded into the white-capped mountains with the assistance of the perfect amount of grayish fog. The pink clouds seemed to ask, "Sarah, where've you been?"
Here. But not really. The last week or so I have been checked out. It's easier that way, because I don't have to deal with anything--like the burnt smell in my apartment, the sewing project that is still only 3/4 done, the explosion of junk in my room, or the mundane tasks at work. I can just sort of let apathy roll over me, grab a novel, and allow myself to slip into an altered reality.
It's not that I have anything depressing to hide from, just that I'm tired of doing the same things all the time. I've just misplaced my ability to find joy in the little things because of what the big things are/aren't doing. I just want things to be "finished", but that's not supposed to happen for a long time and I can't change that.
So today I decided to check myself back into my life, to really plug in and have a go at it. I'm not going to let the fear of failing get in my way of being present and finding joy in the journey.
Picture of the post is not today's sunset, but it is still a beautiful one:
Today on my walk home from the library I was startled by the beautiful sunset. Since when have I been startled by a beautiful sunset?!?! I tend to be very observant of these beautiful things around me but today it startled me! The air was crisp but not too cold and the blue sky faded into the white-capped mountains with the assistance of the perfect amount of grayish fog. The pink clouds seemed to ask, "Sarah, where've you been?"
Here. But not really. The last week or so I have been checked out. It's easier that way, because I don't have to deal with anything--like the burnt smell in my apartment, the sewing project that is still only 3/4 done, the explosion of junk in my room, or the mundane tasks at work. I can just sort of let apathy roll over me, grab a novel, and allow myself to slip into an altered reality.
It's not that I have anything depressing to hide from, just that I'm tired of doing the same things all the time. I've just misplaced my ability to find joy in the little things because of what the big things are/aren't doing. I just want things to be "finished", but that's not supposed to happen for a long time and I can't change that.
So today I decided to check myself back into my life, to really plug in and have a go at it. I'm not going to let the fear of failing get in my way of being present and finding joy in the journey.
Picture of the post is not today's sunset, but it is still a beautiful one:
I know how you feel and I have been doing the same thing for a few weeks now. Just checking out because I am overwhelmed and even a little frustrated. Maybe I should check back in too:)
ReplyDeleteIs that a Wien sunset?
Nuremberg sunset. I think I took that when I was with you--I think we were over by the house of the sister who had a lot of porcelain dolls.
ReplyDelete