Peer Pressure

Something I have been thinking about lately is how much I rely on the opinions and thoughts of others in my decision making processes. I very often wish for advice on a certain topic and then search it out from people whom I trust. But this past week seems to have been filled with peer pressure, and just thinking about it I think most of it helped me do very good things. I will write about one example from my week:

I am trying to write a book. Right now we are in the research and development phase of the book, which will most likely have to do with the BYU dating and marriage patterns (fascinating topic I know). I have some theories as to why the BYU dating world is so messed up. One of the theories is that people wait until they are interested in dating someone before they ask them out. There is (at least in my circle) very little casual dating going on here. You are asked on a date (or ask someone else on a date) because you like them. I think we ought to bring back the dates where you just go with someone you hardly know and get to know them.

Deciding I ought to put my money where my mouth is (good thing I don't try to do that more often or I would have no money and would probably need to stop talking!) I thought it might be advisable for me to try one of these said "casual dates". The plan was to just ask a male person that I know to share an activity with me at a specific time sometime in the future. I was very scared to do it, but could think of one guy in the ward whom I didn't really know but who looked like he might be a nice person. Wow this is a long back story.

I was talking to some of my friends at work and they seemed to enjoy my plan of action and actually encouraged my behavior. They all wanted to be there when I called the guy up. Here's where the peer pressure came in: one friend made me do it right there. He told me that I just needed to call and get it over with-that stretching it out would not make it easier. (I don't much care for talking on the phone-especially to people I hardly know.) I called and left a message but got a hold of the person the next day-and he said yes.

Now, I would say that my date served at least two very important purposes: 1. to get to know someone from my ward better and have a "casual date" and 2. to give me a new perspective as the date-asker, and the apprehension & co. that comes with that. It was a good date-I had a good time, I think he had a good time-everything stupid I could have done I did-not on purpose. I blame karma, lack of sleep, and perhaps even low blood sugar for some of the crazy things that I did but it was still fun and (hopefully) I made a new friend from all of this. And that is important.

I think I will wait a while though before asking anyone else out on any dates. That took a lot of energy for me. And I don't want to fall in any more ditches for a while, although that does make for a good story.